Day 1. The Beauty of Chosen Families.

As we begin our “31 Days of Illuminating Family Diversity” series, today we celebrate the beauty of chosen families. Chosen families are formed not through biology, but through shared experiences, mutual support, and deep affection. For many, these relationships offer the warmth, reliability, and love we all seek in family, especially when traditional family structures may not feel fully supportive or inclusive.

What Are Chosen Families?
Chosen families are often built among friends, mentors, colleagues, or anyone who provides consistent love, care, and understanding. These relationships can be especially meaningful in LGBTQ+ communities, where individuals sometimes face rejection or misunderstanding from their birth families. Chosen families can also be essential for those who have moved far from home, for immigrants building new networks, or simply for anyone who finds family-like connections among friends and communities.

Real-Life Examples of Chosen Families

• The LGBTQ+ Community: For many LGBTQ+ individuals, chosen families are lifelines. For example, the ballroom communities popularized by Black and Latinx LGBTQ+ groups in cities like New York and Chicago created “houses” where members take on family roles to support one another. These chosen family structures provide acceptance and understanding and offer a vital safety net for those who may not feel welcomed by their birth families.
• Families Among Roommates: Moving to a new city often means leaving behind family support, but many people find deep, family-like connections with roommates. Whether they’re sharing meals, supporting each other through challenges, or celebrating milestones together, these connections often fill a familial role. This type of chosen family offers a unique blend of companionship, independence, and emotional support.
• Interfaith Support Networks: In interfaith communities, chosen families are often formed among members who share similar values and spiritual goals. These connections create bonds that transcend individual backgrounds, making communities that feel like family to everyone involved.

How to Foster Chosen Family Connections
Creating a chosen family is about investing time and care into relationships that nurture mutual growth, trust, and understanding. Here are some ways to deepen these connections:

• Celebrate Each Other’s Milestones: Mark birthdays, career achievements, and other milestones together to build a sense of shared history.
• Establish Traditions: Establish weekly dinners, seasonal outings, or other traditions that foster a sense of continuity and closeness.
• Offer Mutual Support: Whether it’s through listening, helping with practical needs, or simply being present, building chosen family connections takes consistent support and care.

Resources for Learning More

• Book Recommendation: “Queer and Trans Family Networks: Beyond Bloodlines”: This book by Emily Kazyak explores chosen family dynamics within LGBTQ+ communities, featuring research and personal narratives. Available through major booksellers and libraries.
• Podcast: “Chosen Family”: Hosted by queer comedians and best friends Thomas Leblanc and Tranna Wintour, this podcast explores the chosen family concept with humor and heart, featuring guests and insights from various backgrounds. Find it on popular podcast platforms.

Reflecting on Chosen Families
Today, as we think about the beauty of chosen families, let’s take a moment to appreciate these unique relationships. Chosen families are a testament to our ability to find connection, create love, and build supportive communities wherever we are. May we see the divine light shining in these chosen bonds and recognize the beauty of families that we create with our hearts.

Check back tomorrow as we continue our journey into diverse family structures with “Day 2: LGBTQ+ Families: Stories of Love and Resilience.”

Learn more: “We Should Get Together” is a blog site featuring expertise on real and trusting connection, including information on chosen family relationships and their importance in LGBTQ+ communities: (https://weshouldgettogether.com/blog/so-you-want-chosen-family-take-a-lesson-from-queers-in-the-know).

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